Almost 1 month old!

I can’t believe Charlie will be 1 month old tomorrow. In some ways, this has been the longest month of my life. When we had been home just a few days, getting to 2 weeks seemed impossible.  That was when I was getting up every 2-3 hours to feed him. Now that we are formula feeding and I can get a full night’s sleep, things are much more manageable. (for me – it only got harder for EB, who takes the night shift. I am SO lucky he is able and willing to do that)

It feels so good to know we made it through the first month. I don’t know if I’m just spoiled by my old life or old and set in my ways (or both) but I cannot possibly imagine doing this 8 more times like my mom did. I have had challenges in my life – grad school in computer science with a bunch of people smarter than me, finding my way at Microsoft, managing chaos at Silver Spring – but this has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  Sometimes I wonder what my problem is because billions of women do this all the time, including 7 sisters and sisters-in-law.

Charlie is generally a good baby except that he has gas, which makes him cry.  My sister, Sue, who came out last weekend (THANK YOU SUE!) thinks the gas is pretty normal / not excessive. It’s funny how perspective is all relative. A couple of days ago, I felt like I would do anything to get rid of the gas (well, I still do) . But then yesterday was a really hard day for Charlie (and me), and I started to worry (and am still a little worried) that he has reflux, which, as it turns out, would be a worse thing than gas. He’s having a better day today, and I actually WELCOMED the normal gas fit, which is easy to identify – he pulls his knees up to his chest and bears down and it lasts only a couple of minutes. Sure, it can come back a couple of minutes later, but when you know why he is crying and know it will end, it’s not that bad. Yesterday was not like that. After 7 hours with him where he was crying half the time (and it would not go away quickly like the gas crying), I was ready to cry myself (and did later, on EB’s shoulder). He was crying more than usual and would not sleep for more than 15 minutes at a time. He was spitting up a lot and was crying during feedings, which usually doesn’t happen. I didn’t hear a lot of gas. Gas problems generally go away in 8-12 weeks, whereas reflux can take 8 months to get better. So now here I am hoping and wishing that he just has gas.

The arrival of my 24-year-old niece Marisa was a very welcome one. She is staying with us while she looks for a job, and she helps a lot by taking the baby for a few hours each day and helping out around the house.

Right now it is 80 degrees in Fremont! I took Charlie for a walk to the park this morning. I wanted to check out whether the park has baby swings (for future reference), which it does.

I guess the bottom line is that there are good days and bad days. So far today is good. Charlie had some good awake time for us to walk around and look at things and play on his mat and sing some songs. He was very cute as he looked at the things in his “activity gym” and kicked his legs. There’s not too much else to report in terms of what he’s doing He smiles in his sleep but we haven’t yet seen the awake smile.